Seriously.

Before I write anything else, I have to express how humbled and grateful I am to the extraordinary women who offered me words of encouragement in my time of need – some of whom were going through very difficult times themselves.

Your generosity has been food for my soul. You all have a very special place in my heart and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I want you all to get your miracles!

So, back at the ranch…. I kept getting negatives on those cheap “Wondfo” sticks from China – I now officially detest them – all through to the afternoon of 7dp5dt. At day 12 past retrieval, there’s no question in my mind that the test should have shown a positive, but that coupled with my lack of symptoms had already reduced me to a sobbing, inconsolable mess. Not one to be deterred by a complete emotional breakdown, I decided to take one more test at about 7:30 p.m. — hoping against hope I would receive a different outcome. This time, the stick had the faintest whisper of a line. In fact, it was such a squinter that if I looked away for a second and then back, it would disappear.

I decided it was time to pull out the special, “expensive” Answer test that’s been sitting in my bottom dresser drawer for well over a year and see what “answer” it had to give me! (Ohh… that was a baaad joke!) Using the same pee (TMI?) I dipped the test and minutes later a clear, albeit faint, second line appeared. I froze. Hand cupped over my mouth and eyes about to pop out of my head – I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I laughed, I cried (happy tears this time), I squealed. I just had no idea what to do with myself.

Hubby showed up about an hour later from work. He’d picked up a bottle of Vodka and some chocolate – smart man, hedging his bets! When I gave him the good news, I think he was more relieved than anything else and I know, excited to get his “happy wife” back.

The following morning, I tested again with Wonfo (because I had no more “real” tests) and there was no second line. That threw me into a bit of a panic as horrible ideas like “chemical pregnancy” started to swirl in my head. But that was the day I’d know for sure because I had scheduled my beta for 10 a.m. (Isn’t 8dp5dt a little early to test at a clinic?) Anyway, I got the thing over with and then I had to wait for them to call me with the results. I am a bad wait-er.

Thanks to Google, I discovered that a beta of 25 – 50 mIU/ml would be considered “inconclusive.” And, I had always read that those stupid Wondfo strips were sensitive to the 25 mIU/ml level, so I really wanted to buy a better test to be sure. I went to CVS and had to wait forever for one of their cashier/zombies to unlock the glass case with the pregnancy tests. Just as the guy was unlocking the cabinet, my cell phone rang. It was the clinic.

I took a deep breath and answered. My usually dry doctor made a sweet attempt at humor and then said, “I’m only kidding around with you because I have good news. You are seriously pregnant!” I said, “Seriously?!” And he said, “Seriously.” “How seriously?” I asked. “Beta of 58,” he said. And I sank into the warm golden glow of utter happiness and joy.

We did it. We’re smack dab in the middle of the best miracle I have ever known.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thebarrenyears
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 15:18:29

    I thought the silence meant good news and it did hurrah. Fingers crossed everything grows as it should x

    Reply

    • msfertility
      Feb 04, 2012 @ 15:25:35

      Thank you!! I wanted to be able to tell the story the right way and haven’t had time until just now. Really hoping the next cycle will be it for you! xo

      Reply

  2. wartica
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 16:03:19

    Great to hear that the you’re pregnant; I’m sure everything will work out amazingly. Great post and I look forward to sharing more with you:))

    Reply

  3. Daryl
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 16:18:43

    Oh, I am so so so so happy for you!! Congratulations!

    Reply

  4. newbie
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 18:44:19

    CONGRATULATIONS!! Fantastic news…

    Reply

  5. dopingforbaby
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 20:07:15

    Congratulations! Love that your man brought drinks and chocolates. He’s a keeper. Here’s to higher beta numbers and a big fat belly.

    Reply

  6. msfertility
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 21:56:09

    Thank you, everyone!!! I go in for my next beta tomorrow, so I should know a little more about how it’s coming along. I’m finally getting some symptoms, but they seem so light compared to last time. Then again, I’ve adopted a no-stress policy that seems to be working so far. It’s really all out of my hands anyway! xoxo

    Reply

  7. Bachelor's Button
    Feb 07, 2012 @ 09:33:13

    Oh how wonderful! Am so happy that lots of those on my ‘blogroll’ are doing so very well. This is brilliant news so do keep blogging about your pregnancy… gives hope to lots of people…xx

    Reply

  8. msfertility
    Feb 07, 2012 @ 15:08:01

    Thank you, darling. You have been on my mind and in my prayers. Sending lots of love your way!

    Reply

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