The Wait Before “The Wait”

My ER was Friday and I have to say, it was the easiest one so far.  Prior to the retrieval, I was in the prep room, lying down in the hospital bed [wearing 2 gowns, booties over my double socks (hey, it gets cold!) and that strange shower cap thing (I still can’t figure out what that’s for!)] and I was happy & calm. I closed my eyes and took some time to thank my ovaries for all their hard work. I told them that I knew they had gone through a lot and that they had done the best they could. And that I was grateful for all their efforts.

When I opened my eyes, I found my doctor standing above me. “I’m just having a talk with my ovaries,” I said, smiling. “And the Lord!” he replied. Is it strange that my Jewish doctor refers to God as “the Lord”? I always associate that phrase with Christians. Anyway, I’m neither, but I find “God” to be a good shortcut term (people will fill in their own interpretations and I don’t have to do any explaining.) Win-win!

I was in a good space and that was important to me. The nurse escorted me into the OR and had me lie down on that weird cross shaped bed with the raised stirrup-type legs. After minimal small talk, the anesthesiologist (a different one from the other two times) started my I.V.  Since I’d never seen any of the nurses before, I revived my old joke about feeling like I was about to undergo an alien abduction – have you seen those creepy round lights? That is exactly what it looks like! They laughed and the anesthesiologist told me I must be watching too much t.v. and right about then, I felt the sinking / floating sensation of narcotics flowing through my veins. How I love that feeling!

I woke up, what seemed like minutes later, back in the recovery bed, feeling only slightly sore. I looked at the clock and only about 25 minutes had passed. The nurse called my husband in to keep me company and soon afterwards, we were told they retrieved  8 eggs with one looking impossibly small. I was happy with that. The following morning, I got an early call from the doctor to let me know that we had 6 eggs successfully fertilize. Woo hoo!

Even though I didn’t produce as many eggs this time as I have before, more than ever, we are concentrating on the eggs being healthy. Who knows? Maybe fewer eggs will translate to healthier eggs?

Right now, my pre-TWW wait has begun. The 6 embryos from this retrieval will be combined with the 4 frosties from IVF #2 and they will all undergo PGD. In fact, since today is Day 3, they may even be undergoing testing as I write this. All my hopes & prayers are concentrated on their health. (Please, God, let them be normal!) My doctor said we probably won’t know the results until the morning of my scheduled transfer (this Wednesday). It does make me a little nervous – and at the risk of totally jinxing this – I do, actually, have a good feeling about it. I certainly hope I’m not wrong.

While I haven’t had any pregnancy dreams yet, I did have a dream last night that my husband and I were looking at pictures of a beautiful blonde girl, about 4 years old, and I knew that she was our daughter in the dream and we were so in love with her! (It’s a little odd that neither of us is blond, right?) Lol. I don’t know… the details don’t matter much, but the wonderful feeling from the dream lasted for hours after I got up. I feel happy and hopeful. Please let this time be our time.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Daryl
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:09:38

    Quality’s way more important than quantity. I’m glad you’re feeling so positive, and I hope everything goes perfectly on Wednesday! Waiting is so hard!


  2. msfertility
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 14:42:42

    Thank you again for all your positive energy 🙂 We got good news as far as I’m concerned. One normal embryo. All it takes is one, right? Really keeping my fingers crossed now! (Hoping to write about it in greater detail when I have the energy, too.)


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