There’s an App for That!

As a woman who’s had her fair share of experience dabbling in fortune telling of one sort or another… from the innocuous playing with a Magic 8 Ball as a child, or experimenting with Ouija boards as a teenager (who doesn’t?!), and the occasional Tarot (or other) card reading – [not to mention a lifetime of reading Armenian coffee grounds – but that’s a whole blog unto itself] I never in my life imagined there would be such a thing as an IVF Predictor! But there is… and, the surprise may be ruined by the title above, but there is – in fact – a  motherf****ing App for that! {Insert obligatory, “Are you kidding me?!” here.}

Oh, Joy! Now my IVF failures can follow me everywhere! Thanks, Apple.

Well that may be a little bit hasty. Who says I’m going to fail? Let’s see what my odds are.

Question 1: Age.  {I’m already annoyed that I have to scroll down to find “38” – are there really a lot of 18 year-olds trying to predict their IVF success?!?)

Question 2: How many years have you been trying to get pregnant?  That’s easy, 2 years.

Question 3: Source of eggs?  {Whole Foods? Sigh. My own.}

Question 4: Cause of infertility?  Irregular Ovulation (and possibly “old eggs” but I don’t see that listed in the drop-down menu)

Question 5: Is this your first, second, or third IVF?  {deep sigh} Well… that depends! I’ve had 2 retrievals and exactly zero transfers. I have a feeling this is a very important question for the predictor. I’m going to lie be optimistic and say this next time will be my first (full cycle) IVF!

Question 6: How many unsuccessful IVF attempts have you had?  In keeping with my theme, “Zero!”

Question 7: History of past pregnancies, if any (I’m paraphrasing):  I choose, “Have been pregnant without IVF, but didn’t have a live birth.” {Deep sigh #3}

Question 8: Medications you will be using? Gonadotropins (don’t worry, they coach you on the options for this one)

Question 9: Has your Doctor recommended ICSI?  Yes, just to be on the safe side.

Results:  {Omigod, it literally says this} “Your chance of a live birth per IVF attempt is 27%

God only knows how low it would have been had I included the two failed half-IVFs! Sheesh!

Okay… so you’ve been forewarned. Use with extreme caution and only when either a) emotionally stable (hahaha – what’s that?) or b) with a glass of something stiff on the rocks!

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. JojoC
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 08:33:17

    I just stumbled across your blog through TCOYF (I am a member there – JojoC). I admire your strength and determination. Thank you for sharing your journey with me/us. My IF jounery was a little different – dealt with multiple m/c. Hang in there -you truely have a wonderful spirit. I hope you don’t mind that I became a follower as your posts are so beautiful and honest.


  2. msfertility
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 06:52:57

    Hi Jojo! Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to endure multiple m/cs – to me, that’s a kind of incredible strength. Sending you warm, loving thoughts…. Let’s hope 2012 is our year!


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